This one has the most substantial cardboard and a splendid vinyl starburst / faux award thing.

I got one of these five years in a row, from Junior in year 7 to Senior in year 11. Terrible typography until it got a makeover from the 70s to the 80s for the last one.

A quiz based more on lateral problem solving than strict maths, it drove the top maths nerds wild when an increasingly lazy, mediocre student beat them every year...

And yes, I still feel smug about it.

I'm amazed every time I look at this one, and think "wow, did I really do that badly?!"

Back in the good old days when failing really meant failing, and going to an "academic" school meant that by the end, if you weren't studying maths and sciences, there weren't many choices left.

I did Maths I and II to fill two columns on the chart. In the first lesson the teacher warned it was a subject for people who would go on to study maths or engineering at uni. I was planning to study art.

This was a freebie through the now defunct CES. A program of training courses that got axed despite being quite helpful, I got jobs out of two of them. "Statement of Attendance" is a little lukewarm in its endorsement.

The coolest part was thermal cutting. Nothing makes you feel more like a super hero than using the flame of an oxy torch to cut through steel beams!

A cheap and nasty certificate to go with the cheap and nasty logo. A department now buzzworded into "Centrelink."

It taught me how to make small talk with anyone, and saved the pennies for my first trip overseas.

I did more French after this, in Melbourne, but I don't think I got a piece of paper. This one was the more rigorous scholastic version, taught in English with explanations of technicalities.

The second was more conversational, actually taught in French, which forced you to pick up the words, but not necessarily why you were using them. I'd like to find a happy medium, and do some more.

This one was a bit of a gimme, although the lessons the teacher gave about inkweight to get this, saved my bacon on the first day of my first design job. The oversaturated feet of the damn octopus from the Wiggles!

And another vinyl starburst.

This is where my crowning achievement should be... but I keep forgetting to apply to graduate from my Diploma of Graphic Art, so i don't have a piece of paper.